


Plot Bunny Barrier

by Rospberry



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Supernatural
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Draco is as opinionated as ever, Funny, M/M, Mild Language, Self-Indulgent, Silly, complete nonsense where two characters talk about my writers block, multi fandom pairings mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-13
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2020-01-12 15:40:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18449570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rospberry/pseuds/Rospberry
Summary: Self indulgent drivel where Harry and Draco are summoned into my thoughts and moan about my pairing choices, lack of writing, and general lack of skill. Well, Draco does. I was quite unaware the strengths of his opinions (but then again, it's Draco, so...)





	Plot Bunny Barrier

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry, folks. Found this on my hard drive wot I wrote last year and thought it deserved to be somewhere. Possibly. Perhaps. *chews lip indecisively* Ah, well it's here now. Made me smile when I reread it so... 
> 
> Possibly far too much of an insight into what happens in my brain when characters start chatting.

“Hullo, Malfoy.”

“Potter.”

“So, she’s got you here too, has she?”

“Apparently so. I’m unclear why, since she seems to have absolutely no interest in developing any of our story arcs, and has dabbled in fandoms she has had no success in. I’m not even going to discuss her unseemly obsession with that Scottish Keeper and Flint. As if Flint would touch him with a bargepole.”

“Don’t think it was a bargepole that was-”

“Potter! Please.”

“Sorry.”

“As I was saying before you so rudely interrupted me, I have no clue why we have been summoned. Personally, I would have thought we were excellent fodder for a thousand tales. Although, clearly, I should have more of a pivotal role and you could, perhaps, carry my luggage. House elves seem to be unavailable these days.”

“Think she is just looking for a bit of kick start. We’re the ones she always found easiest to write after all.”

“Potter...”

“Okay, you’re the one she found easiest to write. Think I only got stuck in the stories ‘cause folk would read us more than anyone else.”

“I do think she would rather have paired me with an elder Weasley despite my absolute abhorrence of that family.” 

“Not Ron?”

“Merlin, no. I think she disliked him even more than I do. Haven’t you noticed?”

“Yeah..er..Ron has been a bit upset about it.”

“Really? Wouldn’t have thought his ego would have been remotely dented.”

“He’s not as bad as-”

“He’s worse, Potter. You can’t deny it. How Granger puts up with him, I never know.”

“She doesn’t.”

“What?”

“Sorry. Ignore that. Shouldn’t have said anything.”

“No, no, no, Potter. You have to expand on a comment like that. You know she’ll make you, anyway.”

“They had a bit of a fight, is all. He’s back living with his mum and dad.”

“Brava, Granger. She does have some gumption after all.”

“More than you, Malfoy.”

“Do you even know what that means, Potter?”

“Well. No, not really. But I’m sure whatever it is, she’ll have more of it than you.”

“Why do you insist on pairing me with this mentally deficient Gryffindor?”

“Eh? What are you on about, Malfoy?””

“I’m not talking to you, Potter, I’m talking to her.”

“She’s not going to listen, you know.”

“She might. If she wants my help to write a fic. She knows fine well that there’s a plot bunny barrier around her. Nice piece of enchantment work if I do say so myself.”

“Why would you do that?”

“I got fed up of her never finishing fics. Leaving me in a whole host of predicaments. Do you know what it’s like to be in agony, trying to convince Weasley to go for help while Voldemort launches an attack on Hogwarts?”

“She left me with with your dad, getting tortured. So, yeah, got a massive clue.”

“Ah, yes, I’d forgotten. Is it any consolation in that scenario Weasley and I are on our way?”

“Not really, no.”

“Are you listening to all this, you cruel Muggle? What you put us through? When you go off and doodle cats and dogs.”

“She’s not listening, Malfoy.”

“Probably not, but it makes me feel a bit better. There’s another thing I have issue with, you know. Her addiction to dialogue. What I wouldn’t give for a beautifully described summer’s day. The scents, the textures, pretty much anything other than the ‘It was sunny’ that she usually settles with. She needs to give things dimensionality.”

“She used to.”

“How nice for her. Do you know I used to shag people other than you, Potter. I used to be straight, for Merlin’s sake, and now look at what she’s done to me. Do you know she doesn’t even remotely see me as anything other than homosexual? You, the golden boy, she sees as open to everything, but me? Not that I mind, granted, but it would be nice to be given a choice.”

“So if you were given a choice, who would you go for?”

“What?”

“Pick someone. Who would you want to shag other than me?”

“That’s not my point, Potter. It’s the assumption that bothers me.”

“So, you’d choose me, then?

“I didn’t say that.”

“Didn’t deny it, either.”

“Oh, Merlin’s balls, stop looking so smug. I’ll have you know I’ve had a bit of a thing for Dean Winchester.”

“You have or she has?”

“...”

“Can’t tell, can you? It’s alright, you get used to it.”

“I think I need a drink.”

“Sounds good. Fancy going to the pub?”

“Will Weasley be there?”

“Probably, but he’ll be pissed by now.”

“Oh, why not. I was only going to rearrange my Potions cupboard. Lead the way, Potter.”


End file.
